In need of a reflection

As bright and clear today as it was yesterday, the sun still shinning harsh through the summer time. was enjoy reading my book within this Independence Day’s holiday,August 17th, under windless sky. The mango tree outside my window blossoming its tiny buds, which I hope will grow as a tasty fruit the next few months. My country celebrating its 60th Independence Day that day, as any other houses in the entire country my little house already uplifted The Red and White flag.
The noise of people celebrating this precious day with many kind of games at the volley ball court behind my house, didn’t make my legs move to come. I’ve passed those annual moment with reading a book, in front of my gigantic grass yarn. I was sitting at the veranda, remembering last year celebration, a year before, and before, and so on. I try to capture memories how my family, my friends, my neighbours, celebrating this moment, then my lips moved drawing thin smile upon my face. Yes, those days when I was battling with the kids for many kind of games, including swimming in shallow pond looking for coins hidden in the bottom. Today, when I saw that pond again the only words that come up nothing but, I must be out of my mind swimming in a full of mold and mud pond. But my memories captured happiness every time opening a slide show of this moment.
As I grow bigger, those games didn’t seem to be fun no more. But I still enjoy organizing that kind of games to all kids back days. And now, perhaps I’ve grown older not only bigger to say that it wasn’t my call anymore. Two years ago, I still amused by those kid’s happy faces while they use my yarn to do all games activity, but last year I don’t event had a chance to watch them play here. The green grass they used to love sleeping on, already grow bigger and not cozy as a playground anymore. Sometimes I think, there’s nothing I could offer to those kids anymore, not even a place to play.
My wicked mind sometimes shows its claw, when I begin to be easily irritate by the kids noises or the microphone used by neighbours to sing. That’s become a start for me to leave all cheerful game time behind. By no means of reducing the meaning of Independence Day, I’ve dragged myself into insensitive person, which I hate. I should find out the way out, before I start digging deeper pit and buried my mind inside of it.